How did I almost miss National Punctuation Day? I proofread for fun! I love grammar!
Check out this fun contest to celebrate the joys of correct punctuation from ElCerittoPatch.com (H/T @wendylack):
Contest rules require contestants to “write a paragraph, maximum of three sentences, using these 13 punctuation marks: apostrophe, brackets, colon, comma, dash, ellipsis, exclamation point, hyphen, parentheses, period, question mark, quotation mark, and semicolon. You may use a punctuation mark more than once.”
Entries can be emailed to Jeff@NationalPunctuationDay.com The deadline is Sept. 30.
I’m not quite sure what’s in a “box of punctuation goodies,” but I imagine giant foam commas and dashes like those big #1 fingers. Or cupcakes, like these made by the English department at Prior Lake High School in Minnesota:
If you like your baked goods with a side of terrible punctuation, I suggest Cake Wrecks for a good tears-rolling-down-your-face-and-can’t-catch-your-breath laugh. The mistakes are funny. The commentary is hilarious. Really, your life is incomplete until you’ve seen Cake Wrecks.
A taste:
We're so "happy" for you...
“So where’s your contest entry?” you ask. I’ll work on it as soon as I’ve checked off these things from my to-do list: vaccuum [sic] the house, write a thank-you note, return my library book(s), and take the dogs–which haven’t been groomed in two months–to the groomer. Sunday is my cleaning day and my to-do list is full; wait… this is an entry!
UPDATE: This is hi-larious.
Please share your own!
The best part of this contest is its rules don’t require entries to CORRECTLY use punctuation, just that the entire “laundry list” be used. So I’m relieved to know that I can avoid having flashbacks about my scary fifth grade English teacher [a deadringer for one of the witches in Macbeth] rapping me on the knuckles with a ruler for improper punctuation use. Was she trying to motivate me or just make me stop talking in class? Ah, I have such fond memories of the good old days in the public education system . . . .
Oh, to heck with the official contest: honestly, I’m just in it for the cupcakes. Mmmmm.
(The cupcake with the semicolon on it got eaten first; but does it still count if it’s being digested?)
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